


prelude

by roadtripexpert



Series: so if you think it's love [1]
Category: The Miseducation of Cameron Post - Emily M. Danforth
Genre: Cowboy's Are Everyone's Type, Found Family, Gen, In Media Res, Recreational Drug Use, pre-Cameron, religious trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27805393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roadtripexpert/pseuds/roadtripexpert
Summary: Jane is exhausted by God. she is so done pretending to believe in Him, she is so tired every day. Adam knows. Adam is too. the thing is Adam knows what he believes and he knows a better world. Jane was raised as atheist as they come, rolling blunts for her elders and naming chickens after the apostles with her step-sister because they thought it would be funny.irony is Jane Fonda’s religion.
Series: so if you think it's love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1535897
Comments: 8
Kudos: 11





	prelude

“all these sad white kids, huh,” Adam says, smirking a bit. it’s her first day and he’s lead her to his bedroom which he shares with someone who looks like the poster child for Christianity. 

she laughs even though it’s not funny, and then she’s crying, sobbing ugly sounds into Adam’s chest, which smells like the laundry detergent that she knows she’ll get used to soon. 

she’s been getting too many awkward hugs not to notice the same almost-wet-dog smell.

Adam’s hug isn’t awkward. it feels like homecoming, like she can forget all the shit luck that brought her here, to this moment, leaving snot on Adam Red Eagle’s clean shirt. 

a month later she’s cultivating the hand-me-down ditch weed that Adam discovered his first week at God’s Promise. she sends a silent thank you to whatever messed up gay kid planted it first and kept it from harm’s way. 

it’s warm, still, the sun making the pine smell almost a solid in the air, and Jane has never loved the earth more for giving her a harvest, the earth between her hands. 

she’s most happy here, with Adam, and he’s singing something silly and maybe in a different language, that she chimes in on, and nothing feels wrong or off limits.

it’s almost like childhood. like her childhood, her bunkbed and her two dads, three older sisters flying in and out of her life, stone butch aunties with motorcycle mullets who’d smooch her on the cheek and bring her candy bars, take her out on rides. and nobody had ever asked her what her issues were or what darkness lurked under her surface. 

they had just given her what they could and asked only kindness, goodness, in return. 

she had been so happy, so much so she had failed to realize that her mother wasn’t: flitting from cult to commune, religion to religion, idea to man to man, and suddenly she didn’t want to be running anymore. Jane’s mother wanted to be like every other suburbanite, and dragged her young, recently disabled daughter with her. no more dads. no more aunties. no more sisters. just the typical American mother clinging to Christmas and white picket fences.

she remembers running away the first time, which lasted about a month until her new bat-shit girlfriend decided that she had to move to Canada in the middle of the night, screw whatever Jane’s plan was. and then she had to come back. and back lead her here: God’s Promise, and Adam.

“like Adam and Steve,” she says the first night, after he cornered her and demanded she be his friend. 

he grinned and said, “well, not exactly,” and explained.

now in her spare time she combs her fingers through his growing hair, which Lydia can’t stand, and asks him whatever history he’ll give her.

  
  


they’re lying on the grass heads next to each other. confessional style. they’re very good at looking like they’re working through all their deep-seated same-sex attraction issues. so Rick and Lydia don’t split them up too often. apparently laughing too hard over a certain-shaped cloud is enough to get you in trouble with God.

Jane is exhausted by God. she is so done pretending to believe in Him, she is so tired every day. Adam knows. Adam is too. the thing is Adam knows what he believes and he knows a better world. Jane was raised as atheist as they come, rolling blunts for her elders and naming chickens after the apostles with her step-sister because they thought it would be funny. 

irony is Jane Fonda’s religion. 

so they’re lying on the grass, deciding that today isn’t the day for pretending, because every other day was the day for pretending, and today they’re also as far away from Lydia as they can get. so. 

“...but if you had a type what would it be,” Adam’s asking

“probably like, buff, and butch, with a hat. and she’s good with horses, or something weird, ooo, I should put something on my iceberg about this, I definitely got that from the commune.”

Adam snorts. “and we have the same taste, just different genders. a cowboy, no matter what, apparently, is undeniably sexy.”

a week later her mom sends her a polaroid camera. it doesn’t make up for anything. not a thing. but it is a wonderful new hobby.

  
  


“we could take tasteful nudes and sell them on the black market.”

Adam makes sound like gameshows when a contestant gets the wrong answer. “illegal. try again.”

“sell the weed.”

“also illegal.”

“sell the weed to our fellow homosexuals, cause a scandal, and make Rick and Lydia lose their jobs.”

“they made their jobs, asshole.”

they try it anyway. and it doesn’t work. and Jane’s supply is confiscated. 

“Jesus Christ,” Adam moans. “a winter without pot. how will we ever survive.”

“the lord’s name, Adam,” Jane says, in a semi-convincing mockery of Lydia’s voice. 

she pauses. “each other, I guess. just each other. we’ll be fine.”

and Adam kisses her on the cheek, because he knows how hard sincerity is.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking this might be all the Miseducation of Cameron Post I have in me. I wrote this in like ten minutes during a class and I love it very much, comments are much appreciated.


End file.
